Published May 19, 2021 · Reviewed by Sergey Litvinov, MD · ~640 words

Relationships get complicated, at home and at work. Sometimes the complication turns into a dynamic that is bad for everyone in it. Codependency is one of the most common. When someone in a relationship struggles with substance use disorder (addiction), codependency makes the disease harder to treat. It happens for many reasons, and it hurts both people while making the addiction harder to stop. At Pines Recovery Life Detox, we work with our patients to overcome these challenges.

What is addiction codependency?

Addiction codependency is built on enabling someone. Two people who both have substance use disorders can become codependent on each other. Each feels better when the other feels well, so each makes sure the other has what they need to feel good.

Not every codependent relationship has two people with addictions. A family member or a friend can be codependent with the person who has the addiction. They feel bad if they don’t help, even when helping hurts everyone involved.

More about how codependency affects addiction

Codependency is its own kind of addiction. The person propping up someone with a substance use disorder often does it because they need to feel wanted themselves. Saying no is the right thing to do, and they are afraid it will cost them the relationship.

What are 5 signs of codependency?

There are dozens of signs of codependency. Five worth watching for in your relationships:

1. There are no boundaries. Healthy boundaries hold up any relationship. Giving someone everything they ask for is not respect, and it is not good for either of you.
2. One person in the relationship is a “people pleaser”. They will do anything to please the other, even at the cost of their own money, health and safety.
3. One person has low self-esteem and needs approval. Someone with low self-esteem will stay in an unhappy or dangerous situation to please a person who seems to value them. Feeling valued clouds the view, and they come to believe they have to keep doing what the other person likes to keep the relationship.
4. One person cannot raise their concerns. If you cannot say what worries you because of how the other person will react, that is a red flag. In codependent relationships people stay quiet about being scared because they fear rejection.
5. No decision gets made without the other person’s approval. Needing someone else to decide for you points to low self-esteem and little trust in yourself. Usually the person with the addiction is in control, and everyone supporting them works to keep them placated.

Get help for addiction codependency from Pines Recovery Life Detox

At Pines Recovery Life Detox we know relationships and addiction are tangled together, and one person rarely moves forward without it touching everyone else. You may already see that you, your family and your loved one all need support. We can help you, or someone you love, get to a healthier life and better relationships. Contact us today at 800.263.3869, or contact us online to learn more about our detox and residential care services.